Funny Sentences That Make You Think
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Looking for a good laugh? Nosotros've got you lot covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make y'all laugh out loud.
Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul.
Non only does laughter reduce stress, information technology lowers your blood force per unit area, gives you an first-class ab workout, and releases endorphins.
So enjoy these 300 funny quotes, sayings, and observations and become laughing today.
Funny Quotes
I'm sick of post-obit my dreams, man. I'm just going to enquire where they're going and hook up with 'em later on.
Mitch Hedberg
A pessimist is a person who has had to mind to too many optimists.
Don Marquis
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln
If I were ii-faced, would I be wearing this ane?
Abraham Lincoln
The all-time matter nearly the future is that information technology comes one day at a time.
Abraham Lincoln
An alcoholic is someone yous don't like who drinks as much equally you lot practise.
Dylan Thomas
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear brilliant until yous hear them speak.
Alan Dundes
The difference betwixt stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
War is God's style of teaching Americans geography.
Ambrose Pierce
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.
Ann Landers
I don't believe in star divination; I'thou a Sagittarius and we're skeptical.
Arthur C. Clarke
A bank is a identify that will lend you coin if you tin prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope
My favorite automobile at the gym is the vending machine.
Caroline Rhea
I always make it late at the office, just I brand upward for it by leaving early.
Charles Lamb
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles Shulz
A day without laughter is a twenty-four hours wasted.
Charlie Chaplin
Political definiteness is tyranny with manners.
Charleton Heston
If you think you are also pocket-size to make a divergence, try sleeping with a musquito.
Dalai Lama
Call up, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie
Education is learning what you lot didn't even know you didn't know.
Daniel J. Boorstin
Everyone with telekinetic powers, enhance my mitt.
Emo Philips
All the things I actually similar to practise are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
Never become to a dr. whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
Spousal relationship is the simply war in which you lot slumber with the enemy.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact u.s..
Beak Waterson
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop.
Gertrude Stein
All men are equal before fish.
Herbert Hoover
People who think they know everything are a bang-up annoyance to those of us who practise.
Isaac Asimov
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.
Jean Rostand
Life is hard. Afterward all, it kills you.
Katharine Hepburn
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear merely forgetting where yous heard it.
Laurence J. Peter
Age is an effect of mind over matter. If you don't listen, it doesn't matter.
Marking Twain
I am only human, although I regret information technology.
Marker Twain
When yous go into courtroom you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Norm Crosby
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are then few of us left.
Oscar Levant
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new married woman.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the route and not be questioned near their motives.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I know that in that location are people who do non love their swain man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer
A rich man is nil merely a poor human being with money.
W. C. Fields
Insanity is hereditary; you become information technology from your children.
Sam Levenson
He knows naught; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.
George Bernard Shaw
Everything is funny, equally long equally it's happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
I had plastic surgery concluding week – I cutting up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
Expecting the world to care for you lot fairly because y'all are a good person is a little like expecting the bull non to assail y'all because y'all are a vegetarian.
Dennis Wholey
Funny Quotes from Comedians
Nobody provides laughs like comedians. After all, they do it for a living!
These funny quotes are some of the best nosotros could find from hilarious actors and comics alike.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
Have yous noticed that all the people in favor of birth command are already built-in?
Benny Loma
As a kid my family's bill of fare consisted of ii choices: take information technology or get out it.
Buddy Hackett
It is a scientific fact that your trunk will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Dave Barry
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching boob tube.
David Letterman
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She'southward 90-seven at present, and nosotros don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
tin can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he tin easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
The first fourth dimension I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in some other city.
George Burns
Happiness is a dry martini and a practiced woman… or a bad woman.
George Burns
When I was a boy the Dead Bounding main was only sick.
George Burns
Have yous e'er noticed that everyone driving faster than yous is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?
George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final test.
George Carlin
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld
According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is besides their all-time friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when yous consider man'southward all-time friend is his dog.
Jay Leno
It's astonishing that the corporeality of news that happens in the world every day e'er merely exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld
Money is non the almost important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Jackie Mason
If life was off-white, Elvis would exist alive and all the impersonators would exist expressionless.
Johnny Carson
Everything that used to exist a sin is at present a disease.
Bill Maher
Women cannot complain well-nigh men anymore until they offset getting better taste in them.
Nib Maher
If yous think you have it tough, read history books.
Neb Maher
This is the worst affair to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
Bill Maher
A study in the Washington Post says that women have ameliorate verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that written report: 'Duh.'
Conan O'Brien
The only bathroom law I'm interested in is one that bans loud sighing.
Conan O'Brien
I e'er wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should accept been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
The route to success is always under construction.
Lily Tomlin
God did non intend religion to exist an exercise club.
Naguib Mahfouz
If love is the answer, could y'all please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
Every time something pops in my head, I think twice well-nigh information technology and I do information technology anyway.
Gilbert Gottfried
If someone else is paying for information technology, food just tastes a lot amend.
Gilbert Gottfried
The word abbreviation sure is long for what information technology means.
Zach Galifianakis
Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. Just a confident baldheaded man – there's your diamond in the rough.
Larry David
If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable – just not as miserable.
Larry David
I'm one of the few people in Hollywood who actually had a good childhood.
Seth MacFarlane
Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.
Tina Fey
Talking most music is similar dancing about architecture.
Steve Martin
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers
Don't go on a man guessing too long – he'due south sure to observe the reply somewhere else.
Mae West
I'm not for everyone. I'yard barely for me.
Marc Maron
Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.
Margaret Culkin Banning
Son, if you actually want something in this life, you accept to piece of work for it. Now placidity! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Matt Groening
A day without sunshine is like, y'all know, night.
Steve Martin
The Internet is just a globe passing effectually notes in a classroom.
Jon Stewart
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
Jon Stewart
You accept to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago nosotros were swept abroad by the Macarena.
Jon Stewart
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
Mike Myers
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have 2 hands?
Milton Berle
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I call up he was right. I feel x years older already.
Milton Berle
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. So I want to motion in with them.
Phyllis Diller
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of cypher.
Redd Foxx
When you lot're in love it'south the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
Richard Lewis
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the manner myself.
Rita Mae Brownish
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his get-go name was Always.
Rita Rudner
If yous desire to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield, Back to Schoolhouse
I don't want to accomplish immortality through my piece of work. I want to achieve it through non dying.
Woody Allen
Marriage is like mushrooms: we find besides late if they are skilful or bad.
Woody Allen
The best way to teach your kids near taxes is by eating xxx percent of their water ice cream.
Bill Murray
Having a smoking department in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.
Bill Murray
Before you ally a person, you should at least make them utilize a computer with a tedious internet connexion to find out who they really are.
Volition Ferrell
Different taste in jokes is a swell strain on the affections.
George Eliot
Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on Tv set.
Thomas Sowell
If your parents never had children, chances are… neither will you.
Dick Cavett
The guy who invented the kickoff wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.
Sid Caesar
The Supreme Courtroom has ruled that they cannot take a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for whatsoever religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
Mae Due west
A bargain is something you don't need at a price yous can't resist.
Franklin Jones
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner – and the distance you are from your car.
Demetri Martin
The worst fourth dimension to take a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
I alive almost four muggings from Cardinal Park.
Henny Youngman
The hugger-mugger of a happy spousal relationship remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her manner back.
Henny Youngman
I did not climb to the summit of the food concatenation to eat carrots.
Ron White
DeBeers should change information technology'due south motto to 'Diamonds – that'll shut her up… for a minute!'
Ron White
I wouldn't camp out for five days if was… camping.
Ron White
Quotes to Make You lot Express mirth
Trouble knocked at the door, just, hearing laughter, hurried abroad.
Benjamin Franklin
Inside me there's a sparse person struggling to go out, simply I can usually sedate him with 4 or five cupcakes.
Bob Thaves
All right everyone, line upwards alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
When I was a boy I was told that everyone could go President. I'one thousand kickoff to believe it.
Clarence Darrow
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
David Lee Roth
In that location is a theory which states that if always anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more than bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams
If you think nobody cares if you're live, endeavor missing a couple of motorcar payments.
Earl Wilson
A woman is like a tea handbag – you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt
A reckoner in one case beat out me at chess, but information technology was no match for me at kicking battle.
Emo Philips
I asked God for a cycle, but I know God doesn't work that fashion. And then I stole a cycle and asked for forgiveness.
Emo Philips
You know you're getting old when you stoop to necktie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could practice while y'all're downwardly there.
George Burns
If you endeavor to fail, and succeed, which take y'all done?
George Carlin
To those of y'all who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, also, tin can be president of the Us.
George Westward. Bush
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He'due south a mile abroad and yous've got his shoes!
Baton Connolly
Here's to our wives and girlfriends…may they never come across!
Groucho Marx
I was married by a estimate. I should take asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
The two near common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Harlan Ellison
Life begins at 40 – but so practise fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
Helen Rowland
I've got all the money I'll always need, if I dice past four o'clock.
Henny Youngman
Sickos don't scare me. At least they're committed.
Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns
All y'all need is beloved. Merely a piddling chocolate at present and so doesn't injure.
Charles Schulz
Friends are people who know you really well and similar y'all anyhow.
Greg Tamblyn
Here'southward something to think about: How come up you lot never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Jay Leno
Women are wiser than men considering they know less and understand more than.
James Thurber
Facebook just sounds like a elevate, in my solar day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.
Betty White
They say marriages are fabricated in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
The greatest thief this globe has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
Josh Billings
The safe way to double your coin is to fold information technology over once and put it in your pocket.
Kin Hubbard
Truthful terror is to wake upward one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
Kurt Vonnegut
Clothes make the human. Naked people have little or no influence on guild.
Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you tin exercise the day subsequently tomorrow.
Mark Twain
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is non putting information technology in a fruit salad.
Miles Kington
The only fourth dimension a woman really succeeds in irresolute a man is when he is a baby.
Natalie Wood
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't look information technology back.
Oscar Wilde
The only reason some people go lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Paul Fix
A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't accept a J.O.B.
Fatz Domino
"Be yourself" is nigh the worst advice you can requite some people.
Thomas Lansing Masson
Older people shouldn't swallow wellness food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second stance. He said okay, you lot're ugly as well.
Rodney Dangerfield
We sleep in split up rooms, nosotros take dinner apart, we accept separate vacations – nosotros're doing everything we tin to continue our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
I believe that if life gives you lemons, y'all should brand lemonade… And endeavor to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White
It's true hard work never killed everyone, but I effigy, why take the chance?
Ronald Reagan
Inflation is when yous pay xv dollars for the x-dollar haircut y'all used to go for five dollars when you had hair.
Sam Ewing
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved past my wife)… but still my own.
Si Robertson
A man in dear is incomplete until he has married. Then he'south finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I e'er plant them.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was trying to daydream, merely my mind kept wandering.
Steven Wright
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
Wedlock is a wonderful establishment, but who would want to live in an institution?
H.50. Mencken
I told y'all to become to Cox'south and buy a searsucker suit, but it looks similar you went to Sears instead.
Jay Shulte
I am an early bird and a dark owl… so I am wise and I have worms.
Michael Scott
Hilarious Sayings
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
Ashleigh Bright
My opinions may accept changed, but non the fact that I'm correct.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Wine is constant proof that God loves u.s. and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin
We never really grow up, we merely learn how to act in public.
Bryan White
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. Merely they too laughed at Bozo the Clown.
Carl Sagan
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Eastward. B. White
Never take more children than you accept motorcar windows.
Erma Bombeck
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Ernest Hemingway
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, flooring.
George Carlin
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx
Behind every successful homo is a surprised mother-in-law.
Voltaire
If you notice it hard to express joy at yourself, I would be happy to do information technology for you.
Groucho Marx
Information technology's a recession when your neighbour loses his task; it's a depression when you lose yours.
Ronald Reagan
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to go its pants on.
Winston Chruchill
f you lot're going to do something tonight that you'll exist sorry for tomorrow morning, slumber late.
Henny Youngman
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Jane Wagner
Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.
Jessica Simpson
If y'all die in an lift, exist certain to push the upwardly button.
Sam Levenson
Once you requite upward integrity, the rest is a piece of cake.
J.R. Ewing, Dallas
A fool and his coin never should have got together in the first place.
Michael Douglas, Wall Street
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Derek Bok
I thought I was wrong one time, but I was mistaken.
H. Kyle Seale
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you swallow.
Jim Davis
Historic period is simply a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, yous happen to exist a bottle of vino.
Joan Collins
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kenendy
If you're too open-minded; your brains will autumn out.
Lawrence Ferlinghetti
I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I tin can repeat them exactly.
Peter Melt
At that place's a fine line between genius and insanity. I take erased this line.
Oscar Levant
A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
Sir Alec Issigonis
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to arraign it on.
Robert Bloch
Information technology does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!
Steven Weinberg
I intend to alive forever. And then far, so adept.
Steven Wright
The early on bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Steven Wright
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Samuel Goldwyn
I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. Information technology looks fun.
Scott Adams
When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
Sydney J. Harris
If at kickoff you don't succeed, try, try once more. Then quit. There's no bespeak in being a damn fool about it.
West.C. Fields
We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don't know.
West. H. Auden
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Will Rogers
When I dice, I want to die similar my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Non screaming like all the passengers in his automobile.
Volition Rogers
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
Steve Carell, The Office
You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.
Joel Osteen
Everybody talks about the weather, merely nobody does anything most it.
Charles Dudley Warner
If at first you don't succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.
Jim Rome
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. So it's but hilarious.
Beak Hicks
Funny Observations
Sometimes simply observing daily life provides enough funny quotes to make you express joy.
These humorous observation quotes are a corking manner to reflect and add some levity to daily situations.
The just mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Al McGuire
Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.
Oscar Wilde
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to exist normal.
Albert Camus
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women ally men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Albert Einstein
It would be prissy to spend billions on schools and roads, simply right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to get dwelling house and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
Ann Landers
Doctors are merely the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob y'all, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Anton Chekhov
By the fourth dimension a homo realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Charles Wadsworth
High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
Christopher Morley
If you love something fix it gratuitous, but don't exist surprised if it comes back with herpes.
Chuck Palahniuk
A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be certain, but it makes things abound faster in the future.
Dennis Waitley
Biologically speaking, if something bites you information technology's more likely to be female person.
Desmond Morris
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
Doug Larson
Good advice is something a human being gives when he is also erstwhile to set a bad example.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
If you live to be one hundred, you've got information technology made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns
Most people work but hard enough not to become fired and get paid just plenty money not to quit.
George Carlin
Going to church building doesn't make yous a Christian whatever more than going to a garage makes you lot an automobile.
Billy Sunday
My doctor gave me vi months to live, but when I couldn't pay the beak he gave me six months more.
Walter Mathau
A black true cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Groucho Marx
It's only when y'all await at an emmet through a magnifying glass on a sunny twenty-four hours that you lot realize how often they burst into flames.
Harry Hill
Formula for success: ascension early, work hard, strike oil.
J. Paul Getty
Men are similar shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you lot become out shopping and there's nothing you like. And and then, equally luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, merely you don't have the coin to buy both.
Janet Evanovich
Haters are just confused admirers because they tin can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you.
Jeffree Star
The simple human activity of opening a canteen of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.
Jim Harrison
Americans are incredibly impatient. Someone once said that the shortest menstruum of time in America is the time between when the light turns dark-green and when you hear the starting time horn honk.
Jim Rohn
Information technology'southward e'er darkest before the dawn. So if y'all're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that'southward the fourth dimension to do it.
Navjot Singh Sidhu
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries whatsoever advantage.
John Maynard Keynes
Life is hard; it'southward harder if you're stupid.
John Wayne
If at that place is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, information technology's some other nonconformist who doesn't adjust to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
Bill Vaughan
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to report the trouble.
Bill Vaughan
A successful man is i who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful adult female is i who tin observe such a man.
Lana Turner
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
Laurence J. Peter
As you get older iii things happen. The commencement is your retention goes, and I tin can't remember the other 2.
Norm Crosby
To err is human, simply to really foul things upward you need a computer.
Paul R. Ehrlich
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives instruction them to walk and talk and the side by side twelve telling them to sit down downwards and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
By working faithfully eight hours a mean solar day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions practice stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Scott Adams
Half our life is spent trying to discover something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Volition Rogers
A sense of humor is but common sense, dancing.
William James
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend information technology daily.
Zig Ziglar
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, considering you might non get there.
Yogi Berra
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Winston Chruchill
Never follow anyone else's path. Unless you're in the woods and yous're lost and you run into a path. Then by all means follow that path.
Ellen DeGeneris
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Approximate on it. I said, Thyroid trouble?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Everywhere is inside walking distance if yous have the fourth dimension.
Steven Wright
Any pizza tin exist a personal pizza if you have the right mental attitude.
Marking Withers
A study of economics unremarkably reveals that the best time to buy annihilation is concluding twelvemonth.
Marty Allen
When yous become to work, if your proper name is on the edifice, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you lot're poor.
Rich Hall
Accomplishing the impossible means but the boss volition add it to your regular duties.
Doug Larson
In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person's yard.
Demetri Martin
Nosotros hope our collection of funny quotes from comedians, celebrities, and philosophers made you laugh out loud and gives you lot the cheer you need to go through the day.
Come dorsum anytime y'all can benefit from a good laugh, and stay inspired.
Source: https://www.keepinspiring.me/funny-quotes/
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